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Volume 5, Issue 1
Poetry

a long time ago

Brooke Dowd

the rink is packed.

kids, some running, some rolling, pass by

the lights flash briefly,

bathing us in a neon glow

before splashing on others in the crowd

 

the pop songs with a thousand plays get a dozen more

i take a seat to slip on my own skates

as a kid, you don’t think about the last person to wear them

only about the fun you’re going to have

 

i push myself up slowly, my laces tied with two bunny ears

and roll on the carpet, toward the floor

the plastic wheels clack on the smooth surface,

a teenager wooshes by, arms linked with another

i watch as they glide across the rink

trying to look effortless

 

i hold to the wall, pulling myself along

until i’m brave enough to let go

when i do, i look up, searching the crowd for my mom

she looks at me and i smile, watch this

i begin to pick up speed, getting closer to the inside track

i go around once

twice

as a kid

you don’t think about the monotony of it

or that this is what freedom looks like

Autumn, My Love!

Leeba Joseph

Autumn, why do you sprint?
Let’s walk.
The way lovers walk –
Slowly, intimately.
Holding hands and breathing each other’s scent.

Let’s walk,
Mindfully, peacefully –
Footsteps in sync,
Breath mists mingling,
Enjoying
Each other’s company.

Let’s walk,
Let my eyes soak
The pigments.
Let me imprint them in segments –
Snapshots of red berries and
Dances of birds between yellow leaves.
Let me store them
In a secret place.

When my vision fails
And the world becomes
Dark and grey and bleak,
When my mind wails
For the ray of light,
Let me take those segments
And weave
A quilt
Of comfort.

Let us stay under the covers
And share the warmth
Of the fiery trees and orange embers.

Let us wrap
Ourselves in color
And speak,
Our language of love.

 

Beauty

Angie Lopez

I wish I didn’t let my heart break so soon

So young

Still soft

Better if it was made of cartilage

Let the surgeon mold it

Give it a lift

Better to pinch and squeeze

Into the artificial

Beauty standards are promising

To make my heart plastic

To live for ever

For ever

To melt under heat but never shatter

Just twist and fold

And fold

And fold

Until my heart is a spiraling

Night

Shiny brand new heart

Smells of black ice

Clean and fake

My heart will never break

Even as it’s trashed in a landfill miles and miles under some suburban golf course

My heart will never shatter

I have polyester in my lungs and they will

Never shatter

I will never break

I will melt but I won’t scatter

Into the breeze of a summer

Autumn

Spring day

I will not shatter

At least my heart won’t

I’ll wither

And wilt

Rot under humid skies

The worms will suck the marrow out of my bones

The fungi

Will hold my body close

Will live inside the dead

Feed and share

Pass my body

Across the table

Feed and share

But the heart will stay the same

Folding

Folding

Folding

No more that twenty times

Connections Against Crows

Bridget Tully

The world is full of crows

But nobody is ever alone.

If people remind each other

Crows caw their own light.

 

Nobody will ever be alone

If they have friends to contact.

Crows caw their own light

Through the connections one makes.

 

If one contacts their friends

They will gain company.

Through the connections one makes

Stars glow in their minds.

 

One will gain company

To defeat the world’s crows.

Stars glow in their minds

As they stand in black woods.

 

To defeat the world’s crows

People hold each other’s hands.

As they stand in black woods

Sunlight shines through dead trees.

December's Train

Freddy Munoz-Miranda

5PM on a Thursday evening, I met you

Awaiting the train, we began to converse

Looking at you, I couldn’t believe my eyes

My smile visible through my mask

When I said I wasn’t shy, that was a lie

The train finally arrived

 

We sat in the quiet car

The sound of my heart beat could be heard

“You never watched pitch perfect!?”

Looking at you, I lost my voice

And so we watched your favorite movies

As the train took us to the city

 

Inside the museum, your eyes laid on all the paintings

My eyes only laid on you

Life painted a masterpiece in front of me

Your smile being able to color anybody's day

We will paint our future someday

You, me and our never ending love

 

Walking back to the station, I learned more about you

Each step, each day that passed, I fell harder for you

Three months later, under the gloomy sky

Looking at you, I found my voice to finally say

“Will you be mine?” as the rain came down

“Yes” shined through, life has been colorful ever since then

 

5PM on a Thursday evening, I met you my love

Awaiting our train to Chicago, we began to converse

Through each laugh, each smile, our love grows throughout each mile

Our destination getting closer by the day

Each stop making our love stronger

I Love Lucy, the girl from December’s train

Elevator Silence

Dalin Johnson

I wonder if we’ll talk this time, or if

we’ll act like we’re not there.

I wonder which I even prefer today. Quiet or

pretending to be interested in the weather.

 

I could act like I’m not here, but

we’re both painfully aware that I am.

Should I be quiet or pretend to be interesting?

Before I can decide, we stop.

 

We’re both painfully aware of the other’s presence.

And I’m sure they’re thinking I’m impolite, but

before we decide what to do, the doors open.

Just when I think of something to say.

 

I’m sure they thought I was impolite, but

maybe they thought nothing at all.

Maybe they couldn’t think of anything to say.

I don’t blame them. I’m the same way.

 

Hopefully, they thought nothing at all, but

I wonder which I even prefer today.

I don’t blame them. I wish I wasn’t this way.

I do wonder if we’ll talk next time.

Endure

Danielle Moy

High speed

I’m running toward something

I blink

But it grows more distant

My legs burn

My breaths waver

 

I’m almost there

So close

I can feel the relief

One more burst

And I’m free

I reach out

 

I’m lost once again

Shadows darken

The sun grows dim

Can’t catch my breath

Can’t go any farther

 

How much longer will I endure?

Till I’m broken-down to pieces

Till I bleed my sweat and tears

It’s too much

I can’t go on

Don’t have me endure this any longer

 

Release me from this revolving door

Let go of my mind

I want to breathe again

 

I’m lost once again

Shadows darken

The sun grows dim

Can’t catch my breath

Can’t go any farther

 

How much longer will I endure?

Till I’m broken-down to pieces

Till I bleed my sweat and tears

It’s too much

I can’t go on

I can’t endure this

Finding the Drain

Mia Woltman

“Remember?” A question.

I see them, the tears.

I imagine the basement in my mind

flooding with your despair.

I prepare.

 

I’ve been trying,

to remember, of course.

But the weight, the strain.

The noise.

No poise.

 

Up to my knees.

 

My chin, your hands.

Your pulse, my own.

In tune despite everything.

I try,

shiver at goodbye.

 

My waist.

 

“Look at me.” A whisper.

I flail in the two seas,

but the water is blue, warm, kind.

I rest.

Life’s a test.

 

Of course. The drain. Of course.

Golden Caged Dreams

Anahi Troncoso

I am from uncarpeted floors and one-bedroom apartments.

The cold nights and crowded spaces.

I am old and used rags for clothes and thrifted toys.

Bears with no eyes and dolls with no arms.

 

 

I am from rewinding old movie discs

To forget there was no cable.

I am from hardworking teen parents.

Teen parents with sacrifices and hardships.

 

 

I am from my father’s worn-out work boots and dirty hands.

I am from my mother’s button up shirts and skirts.

I am from the streets that aren’t safe after sundown.

Where sirens ring all night and children can’t play.

But it was better than where my parents came from.

 

 

I am from the sweat and tears of my parents.

I am from the laughs and happiness of my parents.

I am also the pride and joy of my parents.

I will be the success of my parents.

Her Language

Shelbi Duster

her eyes

            is a love note

the way they look me

   up, and

              d

                o

                  w

                     n

the way her pupils weave their way into words

half-lidded stares punctuate the lines

               her eyebrows furrow and the letters bolden

 

 i cannot help

 but to look into the color of her eyes

and decipher the dark brown hues

      until i can grasp

 

       her sweet devotion in my mind.

Hunting Trial

Nathan Yockey

The winding trail holds like a spell.

Such is the covenant between an explorer and the mountain path,

bound by forest hymns that grab hold the first step through the gates to the old growth gallows.

 

Etch your signature, scrape in stone with metal boot bottoms

then pass ribbons adorned on outstretched arms whispering, “right this way”.

Lured by promises led to a fabled forest bounty.

Hallowed spirits beam from trail markers,hatchet notches and rotten mossy string.

A genealogy of jaded wanderers;

pioneers, trappers, and hunters seduced by the same sacramental prize.

Shades of orange fade like boot prints washed away.

Branches bend around ribbon tourniquets

boy scout knots and logger’s nooses urging,“turn back”.

Spoken by souls lost to the fog with crippled knees and broken backbones.

Who wandered over intersecting trails back and forth

drenched by rainstorms into maddening hypothermia

squeezed by underbrush like a straitjacket

held in muskeg mud like a vice.

Until they are mangled by the trail,

doomed to rocking chairs, blank cataract stares,

and mumblings of faded glory.

Back and forth, back and forth.

 

Bound by forest hymns that grab hold the first step through the gates to the old growth gallows,

such is the covenant between an explorer and the mountain path.

The winding trail holds like a spell.

Is a Lion Still a Lion if it Never Roars?

Darryl Harris

An outcast to the pack

That powerful sound never heard before

 

 

It was missing a couple things

Like a mansion without a floor

Low ceilings and restricted doors

 

 

Caged in…the lion is no more

Domesticated

Image perpetuated

By those afraid of its mighty sound

 

 

Roar lion!

Roar with conviction and be proud

 

 

Proud to be a lion

It Fades...

Brooke Dowd

they say,

like young love,

the anger,

it will fade

 

 

maybe like brand new blue jeans

after a long year of wear.

or like the vibrant colors of a bumper sticker,

after miles of road.

it will fade.

 

 

i want this to stop hurting

and the nightmares to haunt someone else

and for me to be myself

 

 

but i want the anger too.

even if it hurts.

who will know what he didn’t do

and who will know

why i am

if it fades…

 

 

i don't want to forget

the ways i've been damaged

and i don't want the scars i carry

to mean nothing

 

 

 

but they’re right.

it will fade.

and i won’t notice.

because it won’t hurt anymore.

La Belle Fille

Emma Fisher

Bonjour, comment vas-tu?

J’ai te vu asseoir dans le café.

Tu as bu une latte.

Et tu as ete tres belle.

 

 

Comment-vas tu aujord’hui? Tu semble tres seul.

Je peux m’asseoir avec toi.

Et je peux brosser tes cheveux.

 

 

Je suis desolee, mon chou.

Je suis tres nerveuse.

C’est vrai, j’adore votre sourire.

Veut-tu aller une rendevous?

Laws of Emotion

Angie Lopez

I sit over the worry I’ve churned

Mixed the love and hate

Watched it burn

I was never the best at chemistry

Failed at keeping track of all the ways

Things could catch flame

So I just saw it

Tip over and spill

Curdled on the new counter top

The one you sat me down and kissed me

A long winded kiss

The ones you see on TV

God how I wished you’d stayed

Even as I pleaded you away

But you must have felt it

The hesitation at my fingertips

My eyes looking past you

And how far apart we were

At the end of the day

Maybe it was physics not chemistry

That I failed to understand

Maybe our relationship was just another

Experiment

Of how a man and a woman are meant

To love

One my mind can still not understand

Left

Robert McDonald

We used to sit down along the marble counters

And eat Japanese food together from that little place in the mall

He would call it “sai-ku” or “shy-ku” to try to get a laugh

I thought it sounded insensitive

He smiled anyway, oblivious to the feelings of others

Whether I told him about them or not.

We would often go to places like that after some hard work

Lifting or carrying or building for someone

He said it was to instill good work ethic

But when I worked to sweat he’d say

“I’m disappointed in you”

And I would call my mother

And for once be needed for something.

 

 

Sometimes I wonder about him

If he is doing well, if he thinks of me

He doesn’t

At least not fondly

If he still has that arcade machine,

I wonder if he misses our games of Mr. Do and Bagman

His interests were only shared with me

When it felt like the only way to reach me

Maybe someday I can visit again

And we’ll have a heart-to-heart

But I know that just isn’t going to happen

Because if I’ve learned anything,

It’s that he is oblivious to the feelings of others.

He’ll hold things out of reach, one by one

Until I have replaced all of these things with things of my own

And no longer need him.

I would like to return to Sarku one day

But I think I would eat at the marble counters alone

Unless

Of course

He figures out why I left.

Love Her

Haley Maves

She was beautiful all on her own.

A tragedy in her own eyes.

Wore gold jewelry to distract from her big brown eyes.

Maltodextrin, Dextrose, Dysphoria

Ian Melgoza

If my heart was a mirror I’d stare into that reflection

until I was convinced that the person looking back at me is me but the

taffy that makes up my face warps and shifts, hints of watermelon or cherry,

blue raspberry maybe

But right now I’m feeling more like that pale white mystery Airhead

and if someone could help me guess the flavor maybe we can split the prize money

 

 

I love sour gummies but right now my gums are bleeding

Citric acid feeding hidden desires to peel away at what makes me,

burning away what feels like rough, dead skin and

maybe then, I will love myself

If only my body were molded by clay, I could smooth

out the grooves and edges that catch at my fingertips,

I could form and forge a frame I’m happy with

If only I were malleable like silicone,

then I would feel at home in my own skin.

Maria From the Light

Anahi Troncoso

You were my sunshine,

Like the sunshine that would glare into my eyes while I drove.

Like the sunshine that would hurt my skin when I had no sunscreen.

But also, the sunshine brightened a depressing winter day.

 

 

Your kisses were my worst enemy,

Your kisses were like a snail leaving trails

As it walked along the sand.

 

So slimy, sticky, and slow.

 

You would sing as loud as a bird chirping at 6 in the morning.

It was annoying and I wish you would stop

But now it’s my favorite sound in my clouds of memories.

 

 

As I visit your grave, I wish I could see the clock,

The clock that didn’t want to stop for us,

like a hurricane that came with no warning.

Ruining homes and lives as it happened.

And I wish the ground would swallow me whole from underneath my feet

Just so I could feel close to you again.

Ocean

Angie Lopez

Midwest sea

I see you

I’ll wave back as

I listen to the Ocean

Place my ear next to the radio

See I lack self control

I keep hurting what I can’t hold

Can’t hear the dog barking

Just white noise

It’s just a dream

A hazy yellow pinkish kind of dream

Beautiful and messy

 

 

Can’t swim

No matter the stroke

Of fingers to lips

I can’t stay quiet

No matter how late

Words escape

Thoughts

Provoking

me

No one to tell

Nobody to listen to

Just background noise

No different from the chirping birds

Wallowing trees

Or summer cicadas

 

 

I’m no more a person

Than I am plot

Or maybe it's inverted

I can’t say

I understand

This corn maze

It’s never ending

All I can do

Climb up

Stand behind the scarecrow

Taking in the same

Midwest sea

On the Road

Angela Cabalang

Lightning strikes like a heart monitor screen.

The jagged line cuts across the dash

and into the depths of night. Driving aimlessly

through space, the vehicle is made victim.

Gripped steering wheel while the car shakes

violently with the wind. Rain attacks the gla1ss

shield protecting its passengers from the flood

outside. Prayers scattered, Fate suspended—

 

The travelers look into one another with wide eyes.

Holding each other hand in hand. Chests thumping

to the beat of nature’s invisible dance.

Organ Legs

Tanner Hurd

The melodies echo throughout the hall.

Gold covers the walls and the ceiling.

Thousands of people get up from their seats

And cheer for the organ player’s songs.

Years later, the player has gone away.

The organ knows not where he may be.

Neither does the organ know where it is,

Sitting alone, in a cold, dark room.

The organ’s keys are violently ripped

Out, making disastrous noises.

Gold pipes are pulled off, screeching as they scrape

Against the wooden exterior.

Out comes the axe, littered with golden rust

Ready to attack the final piece.

Chop. Chop. Chop. Off comes all four sturdy legs

Laying alone on the cold, stone ground.

What are the legs to do now? They cannot

Make music, the keys were what did that.

They are now alone in a cardboard box

Awaiting their unknowable fate.

Golden light shines as the box is opened.

A curious girl looks at the legs,

With a head full of imagination.

What could she possibly do with them?

Her golden hair waves as she runs around

Thinking of what to do with these new

Treasures. Then she drops one on the pavement.

Her ears perk up, she knows what to do.

The girl begins to hit one leg against

Another, making a loud banging

Sound. Her parents tell her to be quiet,

But the organ legs are ecstatic.

Piecemeal

Robert McDonald

Piecemeal pieces of my mind press hard on my temples

Until eventually my head’s full to bursting

And I shape them with keys that unlock the floodgates to release them into themselves.

These pieces of my piecemeal mind live about themselves

But not in a little town built for them to live in

A little town built around them as their incorporeal forms stepped into bodies found and kept.

 

I know what they are sometimes

But sometimes I reconsider

And am forced to once again ponder their ponderings and think on their thoughts.

 

With each piece that is born a piece of me is willingly lost

Yet in spite of the pain of missing pieces

I find my piecemeal loss to be rewarding and relish in the simplification of myself.

 

The town’s church worships and condemns these pieces of me

Not to call some righteous and others sinful

But to champion each piecemeal piece as the glorious piece of flawed divinity inside of them.

 

They live in their little town and speak, act, play roles with one another

But sometimes they find roles that are not pieces of me

And they’re forced to try something new that I might never have dreamed on my own.

With this, I find others who share my piecemeal nature

And suddenly without them

I find that I cannot continue to be the one containing multitudes that I fancy myself.

Those other old gods present their own creations

And though some parts I don’t recognize

I still find myself staring back in pieces of their piecemeal pieces.

My piecemeal multitudes live in their little town

And in pain and beauty

They find meaning that I collectively could not discern in myself.

I am their slumbering god, their every whim and the fabric of their reality shaped by my dreams

But one day I fear that this dream will end, whether of my own volition or not,

And so the piecemeal pieces of my mind will know peace.

Placeholder

Angie Lopez

I think my anxiety is more yours

than mine

I’ll hold it for you though

Until you’re ready to move on,

I’ll hold it,

I know it’s a heavy burden

Love.

 

Oh but I wish

You lived less recklessly

You don’t care what happens to you,

Or how your consequences fall on to me

And you didn’t ask for my help

But I know you blame me regardless

For mishandling your heart

I’ve killed plenty of darlings,

plenty of blooming loves before their time,

Before they could decorate my heart like they do my mind

I don’t think I’ll love again until you do

You’ve taught me to

Starve myself of intimacy until you’ve had your fill.

But it’s okay

 

I don’t feel the hunger pains anymore.

I’ll be the backup you,

The extension of the person you no longer are

At least in your dreams,

A placeholder until you’re ready to turn the page.

Oh forgetful mother

Please don’t sigh

I’m not yours and you’re not mine

And I’ll never stop thinking of you

Even when you are out of sight

No matter how hard I try.

Plaid Burgundy Skirt

Angela Cabalang

I came across my plaid burgundy skirt

in the closet today. Feeling the fabric,

I remembered putting one on every morning

and laying one out every night.

 

My index finger traced the lines

that covered my skin for more than a decade

and grazed the kneecap sitting in church.

Various shades of wine and cement

 

I decided to try on this piece of clothing

to see if it still fits my figure.

Even with the button in its place

I had enough room to breathe.

 

But what I saw in the mirror

was a muddled image of a creature

wearing this plaid burgundy skirt.

A skeleton of a school girl held together

by its sewing.

Prince of Wales - An Ode to Lotus Eaters

Nathan Yockey

Southeast winds and Sitka spruce trees spread

seeds of complacency.

Water of icy waves blends the days

storms drain, rains shift the island sand.

 

Feet frolic through fruits of lotus,

dance with deer, wrestle black bears, swim with salmon.

Drift and float down the river flow, while seeds of muskeg tea grow,

no outside sun to aid in the mountain shade,

thoughts of a return to Ithica fade, tainted by the flaccid flower.

“Stay a while” whisper the rocks and leaves.

Odysseus is long gone, stone ships have since rowed away,

take your fill from the trough of the soulless utopia.

 

Blissfully indulge in ignorant indifference,

no ends beyond one’s own recompense

strip desire, bathe in pedals.

Oblivious that tomorrow will start without you.

Rhyme or Reason

Robert McDonald

How do I manage to feel down

when everything goes well?

There is no rhyme or reason

to this full-yet-empty cell.

Its bars aren’t cold, its cot not hard —

it’s more like a hotel.

It has amenities galore

and should be noted swell.

Yet here the problem lies inside;

it’s pleasant for a spell,

but model inmates must behave

and wear a warmer shell.

The question rises: “Then, what if

inmates tried to rebel?”

Those inmates only have concrete

upon which they may dwell.

Normalcy must not break loose —

so little I can tell.

But how’d I manage to feel down

when everything goes well?

Roadkill

Brooke Dowd

driving down route 31

headed to work

the music volume climbs and the muffler cries

as my foot romps the pedal, speeding up

i need to go faster because i can

because slowing down means i’m not working

im not learning,

im not doing anything,

slowing down means stopping

thunk.

in a split second

a rabbit bounds out of the tall grass

growing along the side of the road

onto the hard concrete

the rabbit hops again but it never stood a chance

it knows to hide when a fox is lurking

but we are not foxes

and it doesn’t know what to do

so it does nothing

 

i watch in horror as the car ahead

maintains speed even as the creature falls to the sideline

tears blur my vision, i have to slow down

i mourn the creature’s innocence

a second passes,

and another,

the road bends

my speed increases

the music climbs

and the rabbit is left behind

Shower

Alana Steele

i can’t shower on bad days

i’ll wash myself

1...2...3...4...5...

times

until my skin is raw

just to get the feeling off me

 

i can’t shower on bad days

i’ll sit under the water

breaking down

1...2...3...4...5...

times

wishing to be numb

i can’t shower on bad days

i’ll drown in

1...2...3...4...5...

thoughts

of what i could have done

who i could have called

 

i can’t take a shower on bad days

my eyes will stream

1...2...3...4...5...

tears

i’ll sob until the water dries

then cry some more

 

i can’t shower on bad days

when all i want to do is wait

1...2...3...4...5...

hours

for the water to wash away

the feeling of his touch on me

Silent at the Wrong Time

Kimberly Leslie

Too many times have I taped my mouth shut,

keeping my thoughts trapped inside,

my fears and hurt locked away.

I know I should have spoken up,

revealed my fears,

but I wasn’t trained in the art of speaking.

 

I mistakenly thought there was nothing wrong.

It’d fade away, and it’d be fine.

But there was something wrong,

gravely wrong.

I didn’t realize it

because I thought I was fine.

Outside, I projected smiles

Rain or shine

Everyone always said that

I looked happy

with my vibrant eyes and glowing smile

I so successfully masked my fear

Because I thought no one needed to know

Of the flood drowning me

They only needed to see me smile,

I was the prepared pal, the star student, the confident child

I couldn’t let everyone down.

The fear tore me apart inside.

It was an open wound

that I neglected to treat,

and it festered and swelled into an ugly mess.

Swallowing me whole.

Drowning me.

Trapped in dark, turbulent waters dragging me down.

I should have called for help.

I should have reached for a life ring

to hold me and heal me.

But I thought that since I was still floating,

I didn’t need one.

“Everyone goes through this,” I told myself.

I should have known it was unhealthy,

these fears tearing at my soul and body.

I wasn’t fine.

Simon Says

Emma Fisher

Starving yourself is like a game of Simon Says.

Simon suggests to you,

"Don't eat and you'll be liked"

So you go on that salted ice cube diet.

The hunger overwhelms you

Encompasses you

Like an agonizing itch that won’t go away.

But that diet is supposed to work, Simon said.

 

Simon tells you,

"Run 10 miles, go on, keep pushing yourself"

So you run until you pass out on the floor,

sweat rushing off your face like a waterfall.

When you’re finished laying there, and the breath has been restored in your lungs,

You move on to sit ups.

With every ‘up’ and ‘down’, it feels as if your stomach is shrinking.

It tightens in pain, but you ignore it

Because that means you’re losing weight.

Simon commands to you,

"100 is a scary number. Stay away from it."

So you weigh yourself habitually to keep the number down.

The scale intimidates you

As if you are standing before a lion, looking it straight in the eyes.

Your foot quivers as you lift it up to step onto the scale.

When your entire weight is on it, you hold your breath

As the number begins to generate.

(Maybe holding your breath

Will make your weight smaller?)

A nurse told you once to stand very still on a scale

When you were younger.

But now you stand there, still as stone,

In hope of not tainting the result.

Fail to do what Simon Says?

Well, that’s not very obedient of you.

You really ate that burger last night?

Simon does not approve, Simon didn’t say.

Throw it up or he’ll make you pay.

Simon is your friend, but if you do not listen

He will carve out your insides

And make them into a necklace

For you to wear all day

To remind yourself

Of your failure.

Simon wants you to be skinny.

Skinny to the bone.

Simon wants you to be happy.

He screams at you

"You'll be happy if you are skinny"

So you choke up the food and stomach the pain.

 

If you do as Simon Says,

You'll live a happy life.

You'll be accepted by society.

And you will love yourself.

 

So do it.

Starve yourself.

Simon fucking Says.

Temple

Alana Steele

My hair is my temple

It is my symbol of freedom

A symbol of self-acceptance

But for you it is a symbol of make believe

I had a woman stop me on the street

She asked if it was real

She touched my hair before I could respond

Ma’am personal space

I had another student say it was fake

It had to be with the colors I dyed it

There’s no way the curl pattern would have survived it

Do you want to pull it

There’s no way you could do that yellow

You’ll end up bald

Really it was her lack of faith in her abilities

Are you sure you’re a black hair stylist

It gives life to me like a heartbeat

It pulses with the vibrancy of reflection

Reflecting on who I am

My hair is my temple

The Ghost of Me

Emma Fisher

Why do I bother liking you

When I know you see right through me?

You walk right past me

Like I’m a statue made of stone

Or even worse, look through me

Like I’m a window

Or a hole.

 

I don’t like being see-through.

I want you to know

That even though I like you

It will never show.

 

Because even though I am a ghost to you

You will always be dead to me.

The Gingko

Alyssa Sondgeroth

What once was clearly known is now pinned with hidden secrets

Stamped in codes of memories

Sentiments tacked on to things that are unmatching

Ginkgo trees and death

The crisp yellow leaves and lost laughter

Roots and trapped promises

Bark and the feet that once clawing up it

Cuts and the kids that yelled as they attacked the enemy's body

The incomplete names that were carved, now weathered

The Yellow Chair

Anahi Troncoso

I sat outside in the heat of the blaring sun,

Waiting for my friends to come.

I watched as the clouds walked by

In the blue sky,

Creating shapes and stories.

I sat in my yellow chair,

It was small but it was just my size.

This yellow chair was my safe place,

It brought me comfort whenever I needed it.

This yellow chair had a previous owner, and it was used up,

But I didn’t mind because yellow was my favorite color.

It helped me forget the chanting of anger coming from inside.

The silence from the static tv because the DVD stopped playing.

When I got bored, I would go sit in my yellow chair.

When I got sad, I would go sit in my yellow chair.

But as I grew older, the yellow chair got smaller.

I knew it was time to let go.

I hope someone else will now sit in the yellow chair,

And enjoy the color and shape.

And feel the comfort of the yellow chair.

Theme in Red

Robert McDonald

          After Carl Sandburg’s “Theme in Yellow”

I paint the skull

With stretches of muscle

Torn asunder.

The world is frigid

As the chill down your spine

In the morning, but

It is a baked apple pie by midday.

Some call me “devil-worship”

And cast crimson hexes upon me.

I am a haunting, suppressed

Memory just as much as

A longing for hallowed, non-cyclical rebirth;

You know better than anyone

We are all fools.

Thick Skin

Mia Woltman

Forever my thick skin made me a stray,

Tiptoes on coals,

caused loved ones to shy away.

Except you,

who stayed until the day

when in your eyes,

my smeared reflection

showed my imperfection.

In your blue mist, I learned the truth,

the reason for the shying, all the gentle trying.

In your eyes, the shine of my skin.

No thickness,

no strength.

I was a glass girl who could shatter at

any

given

moment,

scrape anyone with my jagged smile,

trick anyone with my cutting style.

When you looked at me,

you saw my lonely plea.

I was lost in the mirror,

fragileness now nearer.

Piece by piece,

shard by shard,

I cracked at the stress.

Couldn’t fuse the glass.

Your hands, severed.

Couldn’t hold me together,

Your heart, so weathered.

Scars forever.

 

I was a glass girl.

Weight

Leslie Gomez

I reach for my clothes, no longer delighted

I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t see it

I step on the scale as it flashes with a verdict

Ticking down, every two weeks there it goes

I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t see it

Lower, and lower. I didn’t want to admit

Ticking down. Every two weeks there it goes

Now it feels real. It’s no longer just in my brain

lower, and lower. I didn’t want to admit

My mind changes. I need to accept it

Now it feels real. It’s no longer just in my brain

The scale no longer tips back and forth. It takes work

My mind changes. I need to accept it

I reach for my clothes, no longer delighted

A healthy balance a normal life. It takes work

I step on the scale as it flashes with the final verdict

Wilkinson Hall

Madalynn Sedgwick

One of the three oldest buildings on campus,

Built-in 1912,

Just nineteen years after its establishment.

That same year we moved to Aurora,

Where we have been ever since.

The ancient architecture of the hall,

Telling a story just outside its walls.

The red clay slate roof,

Discolored from the decades.

A brick chimney standing tall.

Forever bold but sadly cold,

After all,

Gas replaced coal.

 

It's dirty but sturdy

Dulling red brick walls

Forming a near-perfect rectangle,

Besides the alcoves

Sending away the shadows

As the sunlight shines in.

But maybe many more stories

Started inside those halls.

Housing thousands of memories

Over the centuries.

A temporary home for future teachers,

Scientists, and artists,

Politicians, and musicians,

Even doctors and actors.

No matter who walks on the grounds,

Wilkinson Hall will always be around,

Telling its story

To whoever will stop,

Sit, and

Listen.

You

Alana Steele

I knew I was fucked.

I was drawn to You

like a reflection to a mirror.

My soul cried out for You

like thunder called lightning.

When You touched me

my stomach fluttered

like a cave of frightened bats.

Your touch could melt me

Like chocolate decaying in the sun.

Your words were like scriptures

only my book of language could translate.

You pulled in tighter

like a dress that hugged my curves

suffocating all the right places.

Even if You looked away

You still saw into me.

You grew on me

like thorns on a rose

I knew You would crave me

like a vampire’s need for blood.

I knew I wanted You

like a bee wanted honey.

I knew I was fucked.

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